Big Man on Campus - a tall tale by Quinton

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Quinton had an assignment to write a tall tale. Coincidental with getting the assignment, Quin had learned about a competition that his cousin, Graham, had recently done with his uncle, Bruce. For those that don’t know them, Graham is a 10 year old, not particularly big, and Bruce, his uncle, is about 5' 2" and weighs probably about 130 pounds. Anyway, Graham challenged uncle Bruce to a plank challenge. Bruce was able to plank for 5 minutes, but Graham was able to do it for 30 minutes! Inspired by this competition, Quinton decided to memorialize it in his very own tall tale.

Big Man on Campus - by Quinton

Once there was a guy named Graham. He grew up in Madison, Wisconsin. When Graham was born, he was a huge baby. He ate over 75 pounds of food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. By the time he was ten, he could lift 500 pounds. When Graham got older, he left home and got a job weight lifting. He taught many kids how to get stronger.

Graham spent 12 hours at the gym everyday. It made him so strong that by the time he was 20 he could live 10,000 pounds. He was the second strongest in the universe. But he wanted to be the strongest. The strongest person in the universe is Big Bruce. He lived in another universe on a planet called S.P.A.A. which means Strong People Are Awesome.

Big Bruce moved planets for a living. Those things are like five trillion pounds. Graham bumped up his time 24 hours in the gym to beat Big Bruce. He tried so hard he even lifted up the basketball court. Graham was now lifting five trillion pounds. Graham was so proud of himself. Graham said, it is now time to meet Big Bruce and challenge him to a Planet Throwing Contest in another universe. Graham went to NASA and asked for a space ship. They said yes. Graham got in the space ship and set off for a long journey. “It was a long bumpy ride but I made it to S.P.A.A.”

While Graham was exploring, Big Bruce was training. Graham went into a gym to train and Big Bruce was there. Graham challenged Big Bruce to a Planet Throwing Contest, and if Graham won, then he would be the strongest in the universe. Big Bruce kindly accepted. Big Bruce and Graham met at the edge of the world to compeat (sic). The referee said, “on your marks, get set, go!”

Graham and Big Bruce got started. Graham was behind. The worlds were just to (sic) big for Graham. Big Bruce was so strong that the worlds were like feathers to him. Graham was trying so hard it looked like his muscles were going to pop. He did it! Graham threw the world. Now it was tied 1 to 1. Big Bruce was about to throw but his fingers sliped (sic). Big Bruce didn’t throw the world. It was now Grahams turn. He got a good grip on the world, then threw it. It’s going, it’s going, and it’s out of here! Graham won. But he’s not moving. Graham said, “I’m going to lay down for awhile.”


To view the first draft of this masterpiece, click here to download the PDF..

Written by Brandon Grady
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